PITCHFORKMEDIA.COK
Duffy, the sanitised Amy Winehouse.. As if Amy’s retro derivative trots weren’t difficult enough to put up with, now we have the cleaned up version,, the Radio 2 Amy, as if there could be such a thing ??! at least now, Radio 2 execs don’t have to think about whether to stick Amy on or not.. (adopt whiney Nathan Barley, I was educated at Oxbridge but I’m pretending to be Keith Richards type voice) ‘will it be a bad influence on the kids?’ ! ‘will they all go out get retro hair, sing like Ronnie Spector and take heroin ?’! and the other thing eerr... ‘should we be lining the coffers of a drug addict, so she can afford to eerr buy more drugs ?!’.. now she seems to be off the calling card coz we have Duffy... its not Chrissie Hinde, master songsmith and beautiful warbler, its not even Robin S, superb dance fiery meister, or even Janice Joplin, or even Aretha, its not any of ******’ these, its watered down soul sung ok, all tearfelt like it should mean something, when of course it doesn’t as she’s only sixteen and can only feel whether she has a F***** period or not, ,, not exactly ‘mad bad dangerous to know’, its all so acceptable, yawn ****** yawn.. beam me ***** up, its so **** booorrriiinnnggg...
and on to the Mother****** Pitchfork media, can you believe that these people are taking over the ***** world of music, they are the US NME, except they are college kids (or like to think they are), and are so right on and **** trendy their web site beams out at you c****, c****, c****, over and over, collegiate little turds writing endlessly about eerrr, uber conservative rockers Coldplay, and eerrr, their very most favourite band of all time ***** Arcade ****** Fire, who are cross between a numb U2 and Athlete with some twatty little college girl in stripy tights on ukulele god ******’ help me. and that's it, that's the web site, its been the same for 10 years, looks the same, that sort of trendy grey writing on grey so you can’t see it proparly so it must be ‘right on’, and very small writing, so they can pack so much insightful new music in, like,, eerr Coldplay , and eerr Arcade Fire... and now eerr MGMT... will Pitchforkmedia.cok be running for President, as the head of the eerr Republican Party, the answer is yes , toooo... how do these people survive, I hope they’ve all got something up their sleeve, it can’t last forever ? like Friends Reunited, and eerr ‘Sounds’ - where are they now ? did I swear a couple of times there, ohhhh,, sorry about that C****..
